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1. He doesn't want me at the grave. 
My senses arrest
whenever I go. 
I don't understand.

Only the tangible part of him is there -
I know. 
But sometimes it's easier to think of him at a certain place. 

2. I worked so hard to 
process my loss;
find my core again;
live with intention and appreciation.

Grief can still be a formidable river.

3. I'm glad I made the choice to move forward. 
A mind shift is how I explain it - 
acceptance of life as joy and sorrow,
acceptance of the rewards and disappointments within all relationships,
acceptance of answers I won't find in this life,
acceptance of loving again and needing occasional help.

4. I may not have thought about him today. 
We were so busy. And happy. 
Swimming,
walking,
playing at the park,
listening to live music,
strengthening friendships. 
Being a mom is the best thing to ever happen to me.

5. Fear's nightly storm crushes me rarely now.
Did I ever think the rain would let up?

I drive again, almost any distance. 
I don't envision loved ones dying - unless there is a powerful trigger. 
I can speak about acceptance and truly mean it five minutes, five hours, five days later. 

6. Kaleidoscope living:
We are broken pieces and whole pieces
creating new patterns
as we shift and look up into the Light.

7. My heart will always ache when to my mind he comes 
and that's okay. 
My heart swells for our beautiful life, 
as it does for the beauty surrounding me now.



 


Comments

Grieving a significant loss really takes so much time. Acknowledging that you are stuck in grief allows an opportunity for you to heal and to move on. An important part of the healing process is acceptance; accepting the loss of a loved one and accepting all the feelings that you are going through. It has been 8 years and you're still broken but that's okay. Each person should define his or her own healing process and healing has no time limit.

01/05/2017 6:46pm

Acceptance I think is always the key to have a joyful life. When we learn to accept things that happened in our lives, we will as well learn the essence of being satisfied with lots of things. I know, however, that even though he isn't here physically, he will always be there in our heart. I know also that despite of the pain, there will always be joy. There is rainbow after the rain, remember?

Was is difficult for you to share such strong emotions here? You are so brave.

11/21/2016 9:43pm

Losing someone isn't definitely easy to accept. It takes time to heal the wound of losing someone you love the most. I can feel in your short poems the sadness that you are feeling right now. I can sense the loneliness and the pain you are experiencing right now. I may not be there physically to tell you that everything will be fine eventually but I know for sure that you will see these words and I hope somehow It will help you ease the pain. Be strong! You will go through with it!

01/24/2017 7:10pm

This makes me want to cry. We need to be able to grow and keep moving forward in life. However, no matter how you try to move forward. The ghost of our loved one just keeps haunting us in our every day chores. Those expected warmth, those sweet smiles and company will always flash back in our eyes and we would find ourselves thinking that they might just be somewhere else for a while. A part of us will always think that they still exist. That one day they would be back from a far away place and all things will just be back as it was before. Grieving is such a natural thing. However, we need to take care of the living. Time would help. But really, who can tell until when will we be able to accept the lost.

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