Then & Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow is a 16,000-word book about the journey of traumatic death. Unlike other grief books that concentrate on the first year or two, it is meant for readers who need a fuller picture (six years) of the recovery process.
What’s different about this short grief book is its organization and blunt honesty. Each chapter first validates the overwhelming feelings that were crippling during my first years. Then, the second half presents changed perspectives of those feelings and a variety of coping mechanisms that allow one to move forward. The point is to be vivid enough in expressing the realities of despair that people will be able to relate and consequently have a greater chance of believing the hope that ends each chapter.
Click on the link below to review the Table of Contents and read an excerpt (Chapter 2)
“In this well-written short book, Michelle Jarvie has captured and written about the stinging truth of sudden traumatic loss in a way that every young widow will relate to. Her difficult and challenging journey through grief to renewed life is raw, hopeful and inspiring.”
- Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., Co-author, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
"There are too few books about young widows or widowers. There are fewer books about grief and bereavement as honest, raw, and revealing as Jarvie’s. While it is one person’s account of her immediate there and then feelings and thoughts following by her later reflections, Then & Now is also a book that captures the arc of loss, grief, healing, and hope that many experience. Just as losses themselves should be handled with care, the reader of this volume should be prepared for the deep valleys of grief and a life of living with loss...and hope."
- Ted Bowman, Grief and Family Educator
"This book truly captures the 'real' version of the grief process. Many individuals can relate to this perspective, regardless of the root of their grief. Unlike other books that touch on more surface-level strategies, Michelle Jarvie gives concrete examples of things to help individuals cope, which brings a bright perspective in a very dim-lit time for people. Maybe the best thing about it is the raw and quick nature of the entire book. It is not long and drawn out, yet it provides better information than books that are hundreds of pages long. If you, or someone you know is grieving, you need to buy this book. You won't be disappointed."
- Amazon Reviewer
“Bold. Strong. Beautiful. Ms. Jarvie takes on her own pain head on. She tells her truth with no apologies and brings you through to her 'next' - changed and transformed.”
- Molly DePrekel, M.A., L.P., Clinical Director at Cairns Psychological Services
“After thirty years as a victim advocate helping victims of traffic crashes, I feel this book will be beneficial to individuals who have been impacted by a devastating crash resulting in the death or injury of a loved one. It is an honest and insightful account of one woman’s experiences after the tragic death of her young husband. It is a blessing she found her way and is able to help others by telling her story.”
– Sharon Gehrman-Driscoll, Director/Victim Advocate at Minnesotans for Safe Driving
August 27, 2017
A new blog entry exploring spiritual connection and commitment to running up a mountain can be found here: "After Nine Years, A Healthy Reconnection"
July 6, 2017
"Tips From Survivors: Developing Resilience," an excerpted portion from my interview with suicide survivor Eric Hansen, was published on Alliance of Hope. Read the full article here.
May 22, 2017
"What Makes Sudden Death So Different?" was published today.
April 4, 2017
Interview-style, two-part article from a young widower and marathoner is now live:
Part I (cancer and its aftermath) and
Part II (healing, resilience and dating)
February 27, 2017
Check out Guest Blogger David Garcia's "Breaking Down the Stages of Grief."
January 4, 2017
The answer to the question I am most often asked: "What's remarriage really like?" is published here: "My Second Chapter: Life, Family, Marriage"
November 8, 2016
The second chapter of "Lunch Date with Resilience" was published today! Check out a story of pregnancy loss, entitled "Sisu After Pregnancy Loss"
August 21, 2016
A collection of short poems, "Scattered Truths, Eight Year Later" explains reality during this anniversary month.
August 18, 2016
Grief Digest Magazine just published an old and favorite blog: "How Do You Honor a Dead Person's Birthday?"
August 17, 2016
A new series was launched today! Read Chapter One of "Lunch Dates with Resilience."
June 30, 2016
Time to talk about and share those memorial tattoos. Read about mine here, on OpenToHope.com: "Go Ahead, Judge Me For My Tattoos."
May 25, 2016
New article published for TheGriefToolbox.com: "How to Handle (Good & Bad) Triggers."
April 11, 2016
New partnership formed with TheGriefToolbox.com. Check out "Prayer for Safety: A Pastor's Response."
March 21, 2016
New article published for OpenToHope.com, entitled: "Blueprint for a Difficult Conversation: How to Stand Up for What You Need."
March 3, 2016
Honored to be a returning guest speaker for West Suburban Grief Coalition this afternoon at Mount Olivet Lutheran Church of Plymouth (MN). Topic is letter-writing in grief, and we start at 4pm!
January 16, 2016
A different kind of grief group, called Kaleidoscope Living, launches today.
We'll be listening to wise words and each other, while using our hands to make blankets for new life. If you're in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and would like to attend this quarterly group, please use the "Contact Me" form.
January 9, 2016
"A Letter to Myself (as a New Widow)" was published on OpenToHope.com. My favorite piece thus far.
December 23, 2015
"A Place of Transition: Finding Purpose After Loss" (a sermon!) was published on OpenToHope.com
December 13, 2015
Guest preacher for Advent Service of Remembrance and Hope at Mount Olivet Lutheran Church of Plymouth, MN. Service starts at 7pm.
November 16, 2015
"Then & Now: The Roller Coaster of Being 'Thankful'" was published on OpenToHope.com
September 11, 2015
Speaking today for the West Suburban Grief Coalition at Messiah United Methodist Church in Plymouth, MN on creative coping mechanisms! 4:30pm.
July 21, 2015
Check out my latest article on OpenToHope.com, exploring "10 Artistic Activities to Help with Grief!"
May 14, 2015
In celebration of a birthday milestone I wasn't always sure I'd reach, I'm giving away books! Please send me a message if you know someone going through loss who would like a copy of THEN & NOW.
April 17, 2015
My first article post-baby (she arrived February 11, 2015), entitled "Kaleidoscope: Rearranging the Pieces After Loss" was just published.
February 10, 2015
OpenToHope just accepted me as a quarterly writer! Here's my first article about the difference between "moving on" and "moving forward."
February 2, 2015
Essay entitled "Reconnecting and Healing with Nature - T. Roosevelt and Me" was just published on Voices of Experience by griefhealing.com.
January 19, 2015
Enter to win a paperback copy of Then & Now through Goodreads' Book Giveaway! Ends January 31, 2015. Click here to enter.
January 17, 2015
New thoughts on honoring birthdays of people no longer with us in today's blog.
January 13, 2015
It's a dream come true. The book is available for purchase on Amazon.com and Smashwords! Soon on Barnes and Noble, Apple iBooks, Kobo, OverDrive and more.
January 1, 2015
Happy New Year! Check out the connection between ice and grief in today's blog entry, and why time doesn't heal all.
December 12, 2014
New blog post entitled "What can you say during the holidays?" is ready! Hope it's helpful for those who feel bereft of the "right words."
December 4, 2014
New blog started. Check out my first post, entitled "Letter to my Unborn Daughter" here. I'll also be posting to my new Facebook author page!
November 8, 2014
Thank you for visiting!
Do you wonder, "How will life ever be different or somehow okay again?" This website is dedicated to answering that question, stemming from the turmoil of sudden death.